10
Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue - Kids
No-one dared to put them near the top of the pile, put plenty were willing to give them acknowledgement. A pairing long overdue, you could almost smell the sexual tension going on. But hey, it's all a sham really, Robbie and Kylie just know how to ham it up for maximum effect. Sod the rapping at the end, that's a bit of a non-starter, it's the chorus that sets seismic waves running down your spine. Romance ain't on the cards, so who'd 'ave 'em, eh?
Position in chart: 10
9
Eminem - Stan
Anyone who thought that Marshall Mathers didn't possess an ounce of intellect was caught with their underwear round their ankles when this hit the airwaves in June 2000. Gone was Eminem's usual polemic of all his personal bugbears, replaced with a dark and disturbing (true?) story of an obsessive fan. On top of all of that sat Dido's haunting vocals (the sample is from her song "Thank You") sounding like Stan's girlfriend's lament from beyond her watery grave. It's truly a shame the radio edit makes the story nonsensical, but for once we get to see Marshall Mathers show some regret, even if it's only "damn......."
Position in chart: 2
8
Mirwais - Naïve Song
I mistakenly purchased the album production on the strength of this song. Should have bought the single - the remainder sounds like out-takes of the Madonna album. This is a blood relation to Daft Punk's "Around The World" without being quite so overly long. You will recognise it from the new XfM advert, putting the fear of god into some city folk. As my granddad would have said to them "You don't know what you're missing". Also puts hairs on your chest, and will make your teeth go soft if you take the crusts off it.
Position in chart: 138
7
Grandaddy - The Crystal Lake
Something I suspect the alternative crowd have championed. Musically, it stands on a pedestal for originality, with guitars, cheesy electronic synths and that rising and falling tinkly keyboard riff floating over the top like some space ship sound effect on an old 1980's games console. Lyrically, it's truly, truly bizarre. "The Crystal Lake it only laughs, it knows you're just a modern man, it's shining like a chandalier, shining somewhere far away from here." You bin taking those pink 'uns again boy? Get the album and help to keep their drug habit going.
Position in chart: 18
6
Foo Fighters - Generator
After what I consider to be a stuttering start with "Learn To Fly" (pause as I wait for the backlash), the Foo's replaced the unleaded with kerosene and took to the skies with Generator. From the Vocoder intro (which brings me out in a rash of Peter Frampton records every time I hear it), to the machine gun drumming, this was one of many good reasons to make an investment in the album.
Position in chart: 35
5
Sugababes - Overload
The most mature and truly classy music to come out a of bunch of teenagers since Ash decided to make extra-curricular activity a profit making business. This one just appeared from out of the blue, without the need for all of the usual pre-requisite hype that is judged to be required to promote a teeny band. Simple reason why - the song is ace. And boy did the music fraternity know it, even Dr. Dre couldn't resist helping himself to it on a masterful re-mix of "Forget About Dre". Thank goodness some people still think music matters in the pop industry.
Position in chart: 9
4
Semisonic - Singing In Your Sleep
A re-release from their semenal (means it's full of spunk) album "Feeling Strangely Fine". This is the sort of sun-drenched west-coast rock / pop that deserves a convertible and some shades. "Singing up to a capulet, on a balcony in your mind" - my god, they can produce awesome lyrics too! Dan Wilson proves he has the vocal range to switch to falsetto in the chorus and embarrass the rest of us as we caterwaul along. I dare you not to get carried away to it - fabulous.
Position in chart: 109
3
Spiller - Groovejet (If This Ain't Love)
Between them Spiller and Eminem were the only 2 ever in the running for the top slot, but the populist masses went for this in the end. Another song that effectively has 2 halves seamlessly forged together, Cristiano Spiller deciding that the song needed vocals and Sophie Ellis-Baxter crossing over from her alternative background to give her best turn yet. To me, it's that Glockenspiel sample that somehow gives the song that "my god...what's this?" quality. It's utterly irresistable, just the sort of song to ensure the 21st century arrives with a bang. A well deserved winner.
Top Single of 2000
2
Coldplay - Shiver
Not quite where it all began, but the first single to be written from the sessions that resulted in Parachutes. Coldplay were then firmly ensconced on the Parlophone roster and ready to commence their stratospheric rise to stardom. Quite unlike anything else on the album, this song was pure and unashamed as the guitar assault tore it's way out of the stereo. But it was able to deliver the blows with the velvet glove too, Chris Martin making use of his versatile vocal range to add moments of fragility to the song. Enough to give anyone a case of goosebumps all over.
Position in chart: 24
1
Soulwax - Too Many DJ's
Jesus, what a year 2000 has been. You don't need to know the intricate details of it, suffice to say there have been moments when if it hadn't been for this to serve as stress relief I'd have been pulling my hair out in clumps. It not only takes no prisoners, it doesn't beat them so hard they can only be recognised by their dental records, such is the ferocity of the guitar assaults. Not only that, it has a human beatbox in it, a drum solo thrashing away like Animal with drum rage over an array of electronic "bezeouwwwwwss" and throwaway lyrics like "you always act as if it's understood / but sweet revenge is finger lickin' good". Normally I resent it when a song is chronically underrated, but for once I'm glad I've got this one all to myself.
Position in chart: 54
